We cannot allow our mercy gift to override wisdom.
When we do, we become overcommitted to things God has not called us to do.
Many kindhearted loving people have a strong gift of mercy. They love too much—give too much and compromise their destiny because they are all wrapped in someone else’s life or lives.
Women can get themselves so wrapped up in the lives of their children and grandchildren they have no life of their own. When their children are grown, they can drag their children’s problems into their lives.
This web of enmeshment snares and entangles the entire family.
I have done it all; therefore, I can honestly address this issue, but praise God I am coming out of it!
Loving parents can be too involved in the lives of their grown children.
We did not create their problems, and we can’t fix their problems. The longer we try to fix their messes, the more we compromise our lives, money, health, and wellbeing.
Wisdom speaks if we are listening. If you aren’t willing to listen, wisdom will not speak.
Wisdom says, “let children learn the hard way;” “cut the cords of your family enmeshment;” “let go of grown grandchildren—that season is over;” “stop giving your children money and paying for all of their extra activities and trips and the list goes on;” If they are not employed, tell them to “get a job.”
Wisdom speaks loudly when we are listening!
I see people in their 60’s and 70’s run ragged serving and giving to their families.
What have their families done for them? Some families have “give and take” relationships, but other families have takers!
If your family is all about being a “taker” then stop “giving.” Take a break and see what happens. Force everyone to figure it out—whatever “it” is! Stop participating in and enabling their mess.
Mercy also gets you to sign up for other people’s agendas. Friends dragging you off into time and money wasters that are not your concern. I spent years doing what others thought I should do. No more!! Just say “no!”
Start unraveling old patterns of dependency, enmeshment and entanglements.
It’s a scary road, because everything starts falling apart: relationships, family traditions, friendships, and old patterns of doing life.
I know all about this. God and I have been disassembling my nest for the past two years, and it has been messy and ugly; however, I am coming out on the other side more whole than ever before. Relationships are healthier than ever before and life is making a lot more sense.
Reign in mercy and embrace wisdom. You will be glad you did!
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