My daughter and I had a long conversation a few nights ago about a multitude of topics. One thing we discussed was energy—what drains energy and what gives energy.
Energy is your life force. What drains your life and what gives you life?
Let’s start with people. Some people can absolutely drain the life force out of our spirit and soul. Lying, manipulating, gaslighting, dysfunction, laziness, and stupidity can literally make you crazy, draining you emotionally, spiritually, and physically until they make you sick. When you can let go of these people, move on! No more giving them thought, chasing, catering, obsessing, and talking about them. Just be done and shake the dust off your feet.
If your energy drainer is a family member, you need to learn and practice tight boundaries. (I have certainly mentioned this before.)
I guess being a psychologist gives me an edge on processing everything! We observe behaviors, attitudes, conversations, interactions, nuances, and make assessments of what we “see.” I have two “past” relationships I have been processing of late; thus, prompting the need to write about energy. If a relationship has ended, you can look honestly at the history of the relationship and gain some amazing insight into what the relationship was really all about. After processing one relationship, I decided there had never been much to it.
New relationships can be fleeting–here today–gone tomorrow. They serve an initial purpose, and then for whatever reason, they “pass away!” I used to be devastated about these relationships, but now I understand “God gives and takes away; therefore, blessed be the name of the Lord.”
Other energy drainers can be a job you hate, a life you have created that bores you to tears, a locale that has worn you out, and maybe a life that has little purpose or direction. Sometimes, we can change jobs and sometimes, we can’t.
Sometimes, we have to “suck it up buttercup,” and do jobs we don’t want to do, and then find meaning in life in other places.
I have always been glued to where I live because my psychologist license was from Tennessee. I have been working private practice most of my life, so moving was not an option. Being a full-on grandmother for the past nineteen years has also kept me tethered to my locale. Now all that has changed! When grandsons grow up, the last thing they care about is their grandmother.
Grieving over this reality is an energy drainer, and I need to let it go and move on. In some ways, the empty nest of grandchildren is worse than the empty nest of our children. The more we let go of energy drainers, the more energy we have for new life, creativity, purpose, and destiny.
YOU do too!
Energy givers can be new endeavors, mutual friendships, a new location, new interests, and new found purpose. Focus on the good things that are working in your life and rethink and restructure all the things that aren’t working.
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