Many of us go through life blaming someone for our misery, failures, depression, or poor health. It’s so easy to point the finger at someone else and take no personal responsibility for our part of the problem.
We get caught up in condemning our parents because they didn’t get everything or anything right when raising us.
As parents we were too strict or not strict enough, too emotionally engaged or distant and aloof, a rageaholic, mentally ill, physically sick, too religious, or not religious enough. The older I get the more I think no matter what we do or don’t do as parents we seldom get anything right.
I can certainly identify with blaming a parent for not getting it right. My mother was almost perfect in every way. She was a lover of God, hardworking, giving and loving, a great cook, a great wife, friend, sibling, and a great mom.
My dad on the other hand was old school who came through the Great Depression and World War II. He was no nonsense and made sure I was going to work before I played; therefore, I never learned how to play. He burned a work ethic of steel in me and yet nothing I ever did was good enough for him. My life messages that came from dad have been hard to overcome, but whatever I haven’t done with my life that I should have done is not his fault. It took me a long time to let go of his human frailties and how they affected me. He was a good faithful husband and father. He provided well for his family. He loved all of us and showed his love the best way he knew how.
We all rise or fall by what we do or don’t do. Our lives are ours to mess up or to build something beautiful. It’s our responsibility.
As a psychologist for most of my life, I have listened to people blame someone else or God for their misery. God seems to be the bottom line for blame. We blame Him for every foolish, stupid, irresponsible, lazy, self-indulgent failure in our lives. As if it is His fault we aren’t motivated, disciplined, hardworking, have good relationships and success.
We want to play games with God and yet reap the benefits of blessings. We want to read our Bible a little, usually very little, say some prayers of “get me out of this” without ever really being serious about bearing down and doing the hard things necessary for a good life.
We do reap what we sow, and that is a choice.
God doesn’t make you do anything. He will not change another person to make your life easier. I have learned that lesson the hard way. If you are in a relationship, you have to take responsibility for your part of it. You must communicate and fight the hard fight to make it what it could be.
Some relationships are not meant to be so they wither and end. I have certainly experienced this the past few years.
When God says something is over—it’s over and cannot be resurrected.
If you are blaming God for something in your life, rethink those accusations. He is your Father in heaven, Almighty God, and not your puppet. You aren’t going to control Him and require things of Him that are your responsibility.
He requires accountability, responsibility, and commitment, not a lukewarm, half-hearted, game playing relationship with you.
Seek the Lord while He can be found.
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