Relationships–The Good, The Bad, & the Ugly

Three-Part Blog

The Bad—Part 2

Have you ever had relationships with “takers?” Well, in the past few years, I have had several “good” friendships fall by the wayside.  I was very disappointed at the time, but soon realized that the relationships were all about what I could give and do for these people.  As long as I was giving and doing, they were all about the relationship, but as soon as they got what they wanted they disappeared.  Here are some examples of bad relationships:

• People lie and deceive and control and manipulate in order to have their way.
• Many drape their deceptive ways in religiosity and pretend to have such a close relationship with Jesus, but the reality is that they are liars and deceivers.
• Bad relationships include people who never really tell you the truth about who they are.  They conceal more than they share.
• Bad relationships result when people have untold expectations and when you don’t deliver their expectations then they are

A few years ago a friend of twenty years called to chat only to end up telling me how offended she had been that I didn’t do something she had expected me to do, and how I had not fulfilled her expectation in a recent situation.  I never knew there was any issue, much less offense over absolutely nothing.

It seems to me that  God is separating relationships that are not genuine and letting them wither away, while allowing like-minded people to connect and move into deep committed healthy relationships.  I am personally ready to be done with any superficial deceptive relationships and move into the future with like-minded healthy people who are eternally focused and have passion, energy, and vitality for God and life.

Here are some steps to recognize BAD RELATIONSHIPS and what to do about them:

1. Make an honest assessment of your current relationships. Who is the GIVER and who is the TAKER?
2. What do you honestly get out of the relationship? Is it mutually satisfying?
3. Have you been lied to, deceived, used, or abused in order to maintain the friendship? Is so, then you need to get out. Relationships have natural “seasons.”  Maybe the season for the relationship is OVER.
4. Forgive, let go, and move forward willing to make new, healthy friendships and relationships that are satisfying and fulfilling. BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE EFFORT.