One of the hardest decisions made in a marriage is “when is it time to leave?” One of the difficulties of being a psychologist is staring in the faces of broken people whose lives have been shattered in a relationship. Many people seek counseling to determine if it is time to separate or get a divorce.
A second question is, “when is enough—enough!” What constitutes a valid reason for ending a covenant relationship? God makes it clear in the Bible that He hates divorce; however, that is not all He hates!!
I see men and women who are in abusive destructive relationships that are destroying everyone in the family. When physical and emotional abuse has gone on too long, it is time to leave. When the toxicity of the relationship or the circumstance starts to cause serious health issues, it is time to get out. When you have done all you know to do, and nothing improves, and everything continues to deteriorate and people’s lives are being threatened in whatever way, it is time to leave.
Men and women can stay too long in a dysfunctional relationship, so that by the time they finally do move out and move on they have lost everything—their health, job, finances, children, home, friends, their LIFE!! Living with someone who is mentally ill who refuses to take responsibility for their condition reeks havoc in a family and eventually destroys everyone in the family.
If you have done all you know to do—prayed, sought godly counsel, talked with your parents, sought advice from your physician,a lawyer and other professionals, and try and try again—then it is time to make the hard decision. Leaving should always be the last resort when all else fails, and trying one more time is always good advice unless there is a history of abuse, illegal behavior, repeated moral failure, deception and lying, and/or failure to meet the responsibilities of the family.
Most people know in their “heart of hearts” when it is time to move on. Use great wisdom and much counsel when seeking to end a marriage. A lot is at stake and a lot of people suffer from those decisions; however, there is life after divorce. There is destiny and purpose and opportunity for a wonderful new life. Pray for wisdom to know what to do and how. God will meet you in the midst of your heartbreak and give you great hope and direction.
Moving on can be liberating and life-giving. You can stand on the mountain top and rejoice that God, your Redeemer, has brought you through.